Mouth-breathing....A serious XBL threat (By Rebecca "Bonks" Rothschild)

I swear to you I can feel the hot cheeto scented breath blowing into my ear. It creates a shutter down my spine and a sudden urge for a q-tip doused in hydrogen peroxide. It's fuckin' disgusting..

TAKE THE MIC AWAY FROM YOUR FACE YOU ASTHMATIC EAR VIOLATOR!!!!

We can't just mute these people anymore, they need to be told. You don't have to be rude, you can even send them a private message. It will be like telling someone their fly is open, just give 'em the 'ol "dude, ur mic is too close to your face." We wouldn't have a world where people just walked around with their pants unzipped would we? We need to start a movement to end this abuse of my comfort levels. Problem is when I speak up in a lobby or game the next question is "how big are you boobs?" asks the mouth breather.

Now I understand some of you have a condition

And I'm not discriminating against you, just asking for a favor.

As for the rest of you without this condition, you are all nasty ear violators and you will be told. So let's make sure we can establish this movement across the globe. Provided below is a translation for "pull the microphone away from your face" in several languages.

Spanish- "Tire del micrófono lejos de su cara"

French- "Tirez le microphone à partir de votre visage"

Japanese (You Otakus should know this one)- "あなたの表面からのマイクロフォンを引っ張りなさい"

Klingon- " nuj SuS!"

Elvish- "anto suula!"

Are we clear? Fabulous.

My Gaming is Not a Political Statement (By Rebecca "Bonks" Rothschild)

A little history about myself, I started political work when I was very young. I was doing books for the Democratic Party of Evanston when I was twelve. My father was their treasurer and needed a little extra help. As time went on I was doing data entry in the office listening to every sort of social debate. In all honesty it became exhausting listening to these tiresome debates. Video gaming became a great escape from all this politically correct banter.

Female gaming has captured the attention of not just those in the gaming community. There are a lot of outside parties that are curious. One community in particular that I recently came into contact with is those involved in women's studies. Before I go any further, let me make my feminist or woman beliefs clear right meow:

I believe a woman can do whatever the hell she wants. If she wants to make more money than any man, she can do it. If there's something women want for themselves, just go do it. Our "Sugar Momma" is living proof of that.

Keisha "Sugar Momma" Howard, Sugar Gamer Founder and my personal super hero.

She was willing to make great sacrifices to found Sugar Gamers. Continuing to write books or just bitch about ways society pulls women down solves nothing. I don't think young girls need to hear about everything that is working against us. Let them grow up believing that they can do whatever they want, that way there will be no doubt or hesitation, they'll just go.

I just love it when they start superhero work at tender ages.

The problem I have with women's studies delving into our world is that it automatically becomes a feminist conversation. The women I recently came into contact with hadn't even played any sort of video game. How on Earth could these women hope to understand our fascination and passion if they themselves won't even sample the goods? These women were very hellbent on creating a political picture. If they had put a few gaming hours in, they might have been able to understand that there is nothing political about gaming. It is an escape from all of this unnecessary dissection of life . IT'S ENTERTAINMENT!!! Yes, female video game characters are notoriously big breasted and wearing napkins. But you know what's so awesome about that? They are in a world where that doesn't matter as they continue to kick ass and defeat the bad guys while wearing what apparently makes them feel good. Maybe that's too much thought process for a bunch of pixels but it's the way I've always looked at it. Sorry but I refuse to turn my leisure activity into a political statement.

Did You Know? "Bad Kids Go to Hell" (By Rebecca "Bonks" Rothschild)

Crank up the anxt meter up to 11 and prepare yourself for some nasty "accidents." Priviledged and troubled high school seniors get their upcommins in this short horror series. The book has been said to be Breakfast Club gone Evil Dead.

The mix is certainly interesting. I wasn't attached to any of these characters which made it more fun to watch 'em bite the dust (and boy howdy do they!). Gore factor is satisfactory for me. You've got all the typical prep school characters you'd find in a "Cruel Intention" like movie. Complete with cocaine and awkward girls gone bad or in this case, uber naughty bad. Admittedly the story is a little tough to follow but the bubbling style makes for a very easy read, allowing the dialog to be very conversational and fluid. There is a great vintage style plot twist at the end that I can really appreciate.

This book is a real looker, the art is truly stellar, mega props to Vargas and Allen. There's a whole ton of hot chicks in incredibly unrealisticly skankified school uniforms. I have to say this image is a little tired, well a lot tired but the artists were able to play around and make a little bit less generic. I have no problem with tits and ass, but I feel like at this point in the game, you gotta come original with how you incorporate it. However it does properly fit basic criteria you need for anything horror, a few pairs of sweet jugs that can jumble around as the bodies attached to them flee.

Overall I could definately taste that Evil Dead flavor as well as the modern twists. An extra fun fact about this book, it has a great written-in soundtrack, and if you're familiar with Black Sabbath as well as the other great artists referenced, it makes all the difference in allowing the authors to create an atmosphere. So are you ready for the big news? This story will be hitting the silver screen! I suggest making your way over to Wizard World Chicago as you'll find some of the book's creators along with more information about the movie at the Stephens Center.

Find out more details at www.badkidsgotohell.com

"Bad Kids Go to Hell"

Publisher- Antarctic Press

Story by Matt Spradlin & Barry Wernick

Art By Anthony Vargas & Chris Allen

Brainstorm Celebrates X-Men (By Rebecca "Bonks" Rothschild)

Take a great shop like Brainstorm, add a few fun local artists and you get a wonderful afternoon.

X-men has been nothing but hectic with "Second Coming" and the highly anticipated restaffing of " X-Factor" not to mentions Liu's X-23 to come out in September. Brainstorm hosted some great local artists such as Dave Lossso, Ryan Browne, Nino Mesarina along with his talented son 'Lil Nino, and Alejandro Rosado.

Our own Sugar Momma splurged on a few books, from purchasing Slott's (Hi Dan!) "Initiative," to Losso's Sandwich Detective and Browne's "God Hates Astronauts." She even gifted me a Rosado style Wolverine sketch which is cute as a button and now hanging up in my kitchen.

The staff at Brainstorm are great, knowledgeable but not to a fault and really looking to help enrich one's collection. You truly get a full experience with Brainstorm. This was a great event and we wanna remind all our comic book reading friends to get a little sun and fresh air and support events like this to keep your local spots thriving.

Thanks guys, stay cool.

HTC Premiers its Hottest Devices in Style (By Rebecca "Bonks" Rothschild)

New York, L.A, and our own Chicago all served as showcases for HTC's lattest phones. The Aria, the HD2 and the 4G device putting Sprint back in the game, the EVO. HTC set up shop at Chicago's Enclave complete with a decent DJ and Guitar Hero.

There were three lucky winners who took home phones from the raffle, the last winner had to dance for it (not advisable for a party full of tech geeks).

AT&T made a brilliant move picking up the Aria, considering the latest iPhone has hit a few speed bumps already. Meanwhile T-Mobile snapped up the the HD2 showing once again T-Mobile understands the public demand for hot phones. But the star was no doubt the EVO. Sprint will be giving everyone a run for their money with this incredibly capable phone.

All three are compact with big beautiful screens and a decent amount of durability. Sleek display and touch screens for all. HTC not only makes handsome phones, but makes them very accessible with reasonable pricing. The event was staffed with more than enough reps and PR to answer any and all questions, I consider their job pretty light as the party was mainly tech fans and these phones had practically sold themselves. However the staff were helpful and clearly passionate about their product. The night was conducted very much more like a celebration than a sales pitch which is why the event a great success. Thank you HTC for a lovely evening.

Geek Chic Lifestyle #7 Shopping, Courtesy of Akira (By Rebecca "Bonks" Rothschild)

There's a reason we chose Akira for an event and no you nerdy birds its not just because of the name, although it is pretty awesome. Akira has prices ranging from the luxurious to the more affordable. The staff is helpful and friendly. This is the kind of place where anyone can find something. I love the excuse some of you geeky chics like to give me "I hate shopping." I have learned over time that what this really means is something like the following:

1. I'm afraid nothing will fit me.

2. The sales people will be mean.

3. I don't like people around when I try things on.

4. I'm a stubborn buttface who hates human contact.

Blah blah blah blah you girls could on for days. Sorry punkins, online shopping is not nearly as gratifying, plus you can skip the shipping charge. Trying things on is vital, it's the best way to know that you're going to purchase something you'll really wear and feel good in. You'd be amazed how well sales people can quickly evaluate your body type and pick some real winners, even ones you didn't think you'd like. Case in point, check out our Sugar Gamer Jamillia, Akira staff slapped this little number on her and dare I say she looks smashing while being well taken care of. Although she wasn't initially in love with it, by the end of the night the dress was coming home with her.

Or take a look at Amira, she too was convinced nothing would fit, yeah well look at her meow. Sporting some of Akira's awesome leggings looking fresh and feelin' good.

Good shopping tip, TAKE A FRIEND! As you can see we were all friends here and having a kick ass time. Another good reason for a partner is there can be so many things to look through you're gonna want some back up. Do a little homework for me "I hate to" shoppers, save a little cash, grab a friend and find yourself a store in your budget and style. If a sales person asks if they can help you, give it a shot. Trust me, they wanna sell stuff and will more than likely find you some real treasures. Yes they will pull a lot but as much as they'd like you to buy it all, they know you won't so don't feel pressured. Just try to relax and keep an open mind. It wouldn't surprise me if you and your pal walked out with big "I just bought some cute shit" smiles on your faces. Observe below for examples:

Classic "I just bought some cute shit" smile

Stage 2 "Hell yeah I just bought some cute shit!" smile

Did I mention Akira let us set up an Xbox at the party to play some Soul Claibur and Rockband?

For my Chicago based readers you can find Akira at the following locations:

1849 West North Avenue

2357 North Clark Street

Water Tower Mall, 835 N Michigan Ave

Akira has a ton of locations beyond these three. Check it out online for more locations

http://shop.akirachicago.com/

Thank you for a great time Akira we'll see you soon!